DEAR MEGATRON: Yesterday, while I was moving my husband’s treasured antique automobile, I got into a fender-bender. He is so upset he won’t talk to me. He says he wants a divorce and I should move out of the house. When I asked him why, he said, “You ruin everything. You make my life miserable, and I don’t enjoy anything because of you.” He never said anything like this before, and I am devastated. When I try to apologize, he says, “I don’t want to talk about it, just get out.” Help me, please. — DEVASTATED IN LITTLE ROCK

Dear Can’t Take a Hint:
I noticed that you didn’t trademark your husband’s “You Ruin Everything” speech so I am going to engrave on my cannon because it is the most awesome statement ever made.
Megatron.