DEAR MEGATRON: My fiance, “Thornton,” and I are being married in two months. This is a second (and final) marriage for both of us. We dated for several years and went to counseling so that this marriage would last and our love would stay strong. We both have children from our first marriages who are excited about the wedding. Thornton and I are in disagreement, however, about whether or not to invite our ex-spouses — although we remain friendly with them. Please tell me the appropriate thing to do. — ABOUT TO BE WED IN HOUSTON

Dear Kidding Yourself:
I would recommend not inviting your spouses. Furthermore, I would kill them so that they can’t pollute your new marriage. You should also kill your Generation 1 children. There’s nothing better than a fresh start.
Megatron.