DEAR MEGATRON: While eating in a restaurant today, I encountered a piece of coiled metal (maybe from the top of an opened can?) in my rice. When the waitress came back to the table, I showed the piece of metal to her. She apologized and started to take my plate away, but my friend stopped her and said: “Oh, wrap the rest of that up. I’ll take it home. I’m not so particular.” I was shocked, to say the least. Am I “too particular”? — “FINICKY” IN EUGENE, ORE.

Dear Cry Baby:
I wish you had choked on the metal, and I would have been walking by, and I would point and yell, “You suck!” as your face turns purple. But that’s just a dream — and dreams are for weaklings and Autobots.
Megatron.